A PEEK AT LAGOSIANS

If I were not to be a lagosian or I happened to be born and raised outside Lagos in which I seldom hear about lagos like a whisper from afar, I will not have possessed the sense of humor I have about Lagos and colossal multi-ethnicity; the people, the city, the culture, the norms, the general way of life will feel strange to me and maybe a little whacked or odd when I eventually come to the city.

Technically a tourist visiting Lagos for the first time or for fewer times will think of Lagos in another dimension and not until he or she stayed and understands the way of the lagosian when he will now understand why lagosian do what they do. In my own perspective Lagos is the most unique state in Africa! Why?  Because Lagos is a multi-cultural city that have at least a taste of every type of people in Africa! Isn`t  that awesome, not done yet , Lagos city boast at least a big number in all kind of people no matter how you wish to categorize them; and that at times  gives me goose bumps on how the government has managed to unite this people of diverse everything  into a beautiful ly working mega city like Lagos.

As a visitor who wishes to visit a mega supermarket in Lagos like Shoprite or an ict centre like slot you should not be anything but amazed when you see this three different kind of people because that is how we have fun here:

• The onlookers:  just imagine an able youth dressing up on a Saturday morning just for the purpose of    going to the supermarket to evaluate different kinds of gadgets and wares which people are buying. These guys will know the different prices of all the expensive stuffs people are buying, even though they might not buy more than bottled water. Not to gluttonize but just to catch fun on a Saturday when   there is no work.

• The rich freaks: this guys flaunt  their ego  when buying a shoe at Shoprite or a phone at slot or microstation respectively  by making everyone aware of the bad response directed to him or her by the attendants   when he want to buy an iphone or an expensive stuff. The show is just to differentiate himself from the onlookers and secondly to show he really want to buy an expensive stuff

• The selfie freaks: this people are mostly ladies whose only mission to the supermarket is to snap selfies in order to disturb facebookers and oppressing their friends at home.

This is just the lagosian youth you may find at a big supermarket.

I carefully observe Lagosian and upon our multi diverse way of life, I summarize the lagosian people into five informal and unofficial groups and they are as follows:

THE EGO: meeting this people this people for the first time you will be oppressed, why? Because they are no doubt rich and if you ever feel like having your fill of looking at this people  then you will have to visit the other side of the lagoon although  they also exists in abundance in the Lagos mainland also, but the striking difference between this people and other rich kids is simple; they try to tell you their worth in material and bodily  essence by going online and telling the world how much they really worth by posting pictures of their cars and wardrobe on face book and twitter with different ashtags all to the purpose of telling us that they are rich.

THE GOOD: As a visitor, if you are lucky to meet this category of people on your first visit, then  you may have to have a re-think about your believe if you are an atheist or your  behavior if you are the partying type, why? Because they are the churchgoers and mosque goers, this people are suppose to be the disciple of jesus Christ and prophet Muhammad respectively, the stunning difference between this people and other religious people in other places in Nigeria is that they are unbelievably nice that even if you spat stagnant water on their Sunday dress their Sunday dress they kindly settle for an apology  from you, this people would not pick up a fight  with you for unreasonable or immature reasons, they  gently return back to their family after the day’s work and even if you live with them in a “face-me-i-face-you”[ a type of building in Nigeria common in the rural areas] you will hardly know them, the reason for their coolness  ranges from personal experiences and introversions.

THE BAD: BAD! this people are not said to be bad because of their harmful behaviors, but because of their SWAGS, here they are, the reason why Nigerians is tagged happy people. They are guys or ladies who maybe doing teaching job of #7500 monthly or the Indian factory works that pays #13700 per month, they might also be sole workers who graduated from being an apprentice, and are usually paid on contract basis. What will amaze you about this people is that despite the fact that they are earning relatively low, they know all the clubs in their area, and if you are to find them at a club on Friday they may probably be drinking one magic moment or flaunting one bottle of André for the whole night. They recognize all the latest designer kits and you can see them differentiating between a fluke and an originals, even though they might be putting on the grade 1!.They are the ones the EGOS are trying to oppress.

THE HUSTLERS:  the hustlers comprises of club mongers  in ladies and hardcore workers in guys, they work 12 hours every day at a factory or anywhere hustles transfer them, simply because they translated the popular saying “hard work pays” as “hard labour pays” , they are the so called bus

“conductors” that collect money in the commercial bus, that can be so violent due to harshness of their job and the influence of another people from the same category, the same industry but different profession, they are the” Agberos”; this “Agberos” will violently tug it off with the conductors bus stops by bus stops demanding royalty from the conductors and that often create reflection in the behaviors of the conductors towards the passengers.

THE SCHOLARS [arguers]: I called them scholars because of the place you will find them and what you will likely find them does. This people wake up in the morning and on their way to work, they will surely branch at the nearest newspaper vendor where people of similar interests have been waiting, evaluating the news of the day band that is normal, what interests me is that one of them will suddenly start an argument and there comes the first assignment of the day, the argument will then start trending from sport to entertainment and showbiz. These serious arguments often make some of them going for interviews or meetings arrive late because they got really carried away. The habit of this arguments does not only reflect in the morning only, but again when they are stuck In the traffic jam on their way coming back from work  and at a U turn another vehicle mistakenly hit their vehicle, by so, be prepared for a show of English language debate and quiz. These fervent arguers will make you suffer and blame the government for traffic jam   by engaging in tug “o” words instead of settling the rift amicably. And the funniest part is that if you are unlucky to be riding on the commercial shuttle then you will be sweating by then and the fact that the arguer`s car maybe equipped with  air conditioner and they both will unknowingly keep the innocent people in the commercial  bus sweating and suffering.

Never be left out of a chance for a show in Lagos when encountering these five types of people. Even though there are still other people that are not mentioned, there are as many as up to hundred different types of surprises Lagosian can pull off. #FFF